This is true

This is truth, even if you don't believe. I have had a headache since 1pm today. I keep falling asleep hoping that when i wake up it will be gone. I have taken two differnt meds. I have drank water. I have drank caffeine. Still hurts.

At 4:04 i read and email from Davis Hill. It is an evite to come watch the movie, Father of Lights. I google the title to see what it's about. I see there are other films by the same director. I see he made a film called, Finger of God. It reminds me that Shannon and Joel talked about a movie where the guy travels the world to document healings and miracles. Maybe it is this movie.

I go down stairs and eat. my head still hurts. At 6pm i come back up stairs to check my emails. I decide to see if the movie is on netflix. It is not. I see I can rent it on Amazon. I then see that Amazon movies can be watched on my Xbox. I download the movie.

I go back downstairs and watch a few shows, my head is killing me. At 9 pm we all decide to go to bed. I remember i have the movie ready to watch on XBOX. Me and Summer decide to watch it. It is filled with crazy stuff, including gold teeth, jewels from heaven and manna. Stuff that makes no sense. Surely God has better things to do. Stuff gets intense. People stop being deaf; people stop being dead. I am watching the film and i start speaking in tongues. I want to believe. The movie ends and I can smell this incense of God. There is a smell I smell when He is present. I am about to turn the movie off and I decide to watch the credits. Suddenly this man comes on and he starts talking about showing how healing works. He looks into the camera and says somebody is watching this right now and you have a headache. In the name of Jesus be healed. I feel better, sort of. I still have a headache. But my heart is filled with joy. Even if our God does not save us He is still God. I have that kind of belief, again.

Some people would say how crazy the coincidence of the events were and they would have no problem believing that the world gives us a crazy random sequence of events. They would rather believe that 6 crazy things can randomly happen than believe that one loving God wanted to remind me of His presence. For me, it wasn't be healed or don't be healed. For me it was simple. The exquisite nature of the details that occurred over the last 8 hours are the details of this powerful God. If He can orchestrate 8 tiny hours to show me His details surely He has a plan that I can never envision. Surely He is mighty to save, and then some.

Revelation

"The Revelation of Jesus Christ which God gave Him to show to His servants the things that must soon take place." (Rev 1:1) And so it begins again. This book. oh this book that is almost never talked about, never preached on, never read. This book that actually tells us of what is going to happen. This book given to John in a vision from Jesus, Himself. The only recorded words of Christ after He is seated on His throne at the right hand of the Father. And yet we avoid it, pretend that it is not there. Sure it can be troublesome, with all it's crazy imagery and promises of destruction and chaos. This warrior Jesus who is coming back on a cloud to reclaim His bride in his blood stained robe can bring pause to those who have packaged Him neatly in Disney love. But this Jesus who is jealous for me, who not only loved me and died for me, but loves me and will revenge all those who scoff at His name, ah this is the Jesus that brought me to my knees. This is the Jesus worth following. Oh how I love this Jesus. Hundreds of times I was told of His great love and I was unmoved but the one time I came to know His jealousy and I was undone. There is more to come. This great book has some troubling sections but oh how it tells of the depth of His love and the steadfast truth of His ways. His way is perfect. This is not a book of chaos, this is a book of triumph. Love certainly does win but it is a love of singular focus and unrelenting truth. This is the kind of love that does not have a grey area. This is black and white. There is light and there is dark. Now that I can understand.

Doubting Thomas?

I doubt that. It has become an obsession of mine, this doubting Thomas nonsense/gibberish/comedy routine. We all know the story. It was taught to us as kids. It is one of those stories that just is because people say it is so. Plus, who doesn't love a cool nickname, especially when we start to confuse the fact that these men in the bible are real and not just some characters to help the story along.

So who is this Thomas that we mock throughout church history? He is believed to have taken the gospel across the Roman empire. It is also widely believed that he took the gospel to India, where he challenged widely held beliefs of Hinduism. It is also understood that he was martyred in southern India. Oh and he also did the little thing of saying yes to Jesus and dying to himself and following the Lord for the entirety of His ministry.

So how about that for a man who is mocked as having doubted. Which I guess is fine except that the Bible does not show this to be truth. Careful examination of the Word of God shows if anything, that Thomas was faithful to the end. In John 20 and in Luke 24 we can see the events play out.

Jesus has risen from the dead. He is cruising the earth and visiting folks. He is traveling around in His resurrected body. In Luke 24:36 He stops in to talk with the disciples. If we know our accounts we know from John that as Jesus makes this first appearance to the disciples Thomas is not there. (Hint: this is the super important part where we learn something new about Thomas and stop making fun of a man who followed and died for the King of Kings.)

Beginning in verse 36 the 10 (minus Thomas) are astonished. We are told"they were startled and frightened and thought they saw a Spirit."(37) In verse 38 Jesus asks them, "Why are you troubled and why do DOUBTS arise in your hearts?" IN verse 39, "See my hands and my feet it is I myself. Touch me and see. For a Spirit does not have flesh and bones as you see I have." Verse 40, "And when He had said this He showed them His hands and His feet. And more astonishing in verse 41, "And while they still disbelieved He said to them, "Have you anything to eat?" Time out. Stop, breath, Jesus is hungry. What is up with that? In verse 42 they give Him some fish. And in verse 45 He goes ahead and "opens their minds to understand the scriptures." That's pretty cool.

On to John just to make a really long point. In John 20:20 He shows them His hands and side and then the disciples are glad to see Him. In verse 24 it is made clear that Thomas is not there on that fine day. In verse 25 is where all the pulpit comedians get their jokes and doubting Thomas is born because he doesn't believe all these yahoos who, as we have seen, were shown hand, side and feet holes and still were not believing. (Return on back to Luke 24:41). They are all excited in John 20:25 about seeing Jesus and Thomas says, "unless I see in His hands the mark of the nails, and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my hand into His side I will never believe."

So there you are, we have been taught a million times that Thomas does not believe it is really Jesus when really what he does not believe is that these guys, who he has been hanging out with, have conveniently seen Jesus, while he was out doing some stuff, running some errands, who knows. Eight days later Jesus shows up again. He comes to Thomas and says, "Put your finger here, and see my hands; and put out your hand, and place it in my side. Do not disbelieve but believe." Okay, another stop and wait moment. Jesus repeats what Thomas had said eight days earlier to the disciples. Cool. But here is some more crazy stuff where our retelling of the event is based on tradition and not the Holy Word of God. We are always taught that this declaration of Thomas not believing and Jesus' proof of the truth all happen in one sequence. We are taught that Thomas says this not believing stuff to Jesus but again he says it to the disciples because he does not believe them. And why should he really? This crew of ten has done nothing but doubt, including some ongoing disbelief after the hole in the hand, foot, side demonstration. And don't forget the yummy broiled fish. They thought Jesus was a Spirit. They didn't think it was Him so He ate some fish. They were clueless.

But here we have Thomas and Jesus says touch and see that I am really Jesus but Thomas never does touch. He just stands there and knows what he is looking at. He knows he is in the presence of not just Jesus the man he walked with but he knows that he is with God. (Critical truth). He says to Jesus, "My Lord and my God." No doubt, he is fully sure of the truth of not just Jesus rising from the dead but Jesus as the Messiah, as the God. Thomas is quick to know he is in the presence of the one who came to save. He doesn't have an instant of doubt when he sees the Messiah standing in front of him. The other 10 had to be convinced with some fish eating.(this fish eating thing is just nuts)

I want to punch walls with that truth. The other 10 were so filled with unbelief that Jesus had to eat some fish and yet Thomas, upon seeing the beauty of this man is undone. He is so sure that he is in the presence of the most high God. So sure he is going to go to his death. No fish demonstration needed, thank you very much. Of them all he knows what he sees when it is clear the rest had no clue.

You have got to be kidding me with how theologically inaccurate the entirety of the church is on this Thomas stuff. Sometimes I am sure I am going to lose it. Maybe it's just me. I doubt it. See what I did there?

10 Minutes

Saturday night at IHOP KC: It is not my favorite time here. It is crowded at the Forerunner Christian Fellowship building. Add to that the truth that anything could happen at any minute. I am not super comfortable in those kinds of settings. I have seen many things on a Saturday night, in this warehouse, over the last five years.

Just so we are clear Saturday night is church night. It lasts four hours plus ministry time and prayer room added to the back end. One can spend six hours at church. Of course that is Saturday. You also go to church on Friday.  But for some reason it is always on Saturday when Jesus shanghais me.

To make it clear Saturday goes something like this: Worship for 1 hour sometimes more. At this point the healing time begins. For some reason healing time at IHOP and announcements at Southlands make me uncomfortable. I cannot connect the two but trust me I feel equally strange during both times. For the record while announcements may stretch to 10 minutes, healing at IHOP can last several hours.

I am not against healing. I think I’m pretty much for it. But nonetheless I get really nervous during that time. It could be the pressure I begin to feel. All these people who need healing and I feel the tension and pressure for them to get healed. Who knows?

So let the healing begin. Wes Hall stands up and begins to ask everyone who needs healing to stand and you know it is almost everyone. I usually get out my Bible, look like I am an outsider, and hope it all goes away. So wouldn’t you know this guy stands up next to me. “You have got to be kidding me,” is what I am thinking. Oh well someone will come and pray for him, they always do. But not this time. Nope he is standing and I am pretending I can’t see him. Oh this Jesus, I can’t believe that I have to stand up and lay my hands on this guy. And by the way, nobody ever comes. It’s just me. This poor guy is stuck with me.

So there are rules to engagement at IHOP. Ask the person’s name. Ask what they want healed. Stay with it until said healing occurs. Or at least until somebody falls down. When you fall down you get a brown blanket. I am still hoping for that day. So I do not follow the rules. I put my hand on his shoulder and no questions will be asked. No eye contact, no names. He is on staff. I can see his badge. He knows that I am not following protocol.There is no way this will go well.

And so I continue. I thank God for how amazing He is. I praise Him for His goodness. I completely forget to ask for the guy to be healed. I am speaking in gibberish. I’m starting to feel sick. My head is hurting. I am so hot. I am sweating. I notice that my arms are hurting that my legs ache, that my back hurts. I could be having a heart attack. It is not clear. But I keep praying. In my head I know his knee is the issue. God just tells me. I keep it to myself. I am so afraid of this stuff. I hope he doesn’t notice that I might be getting sick.

This lasts about 10 minutes, the length of a classically delivered announcement at Southlands. I can’t take much more. I am pretty sure I am going to need a blanket and that will totally blow the whole thing since the guy I am praying for is supposed to need the blanket if I nail this thing. I finally sit down. I put my head between my legs. I am for sure dying. My arms hurt and I can barely breathe. There is no way anyone will call 911 if I start convulsing, the best I can hope for is that blanket. I take a look over at the guy while my head is between my legs. He is moving his knee around. He does this little stretch kind of thing two or three times. He is doing little exercises. He is following protocol. He goes for a walk. He is healed; He knows it, I know it. Just another Saturday night at IHOP KC.

Hope is Here

Right now there is nowhere else I want to be than in His presence. I am consumed by this thought, this hope of something greater than meetings and songs. I want to sit in dissonance and hear the harmony of His truth. I want to utterly be consumed by His loving kindness. “Hope is here”, that is what He just wrote to me. Hope is here. I will run around screaming that along with all the other crazy things He has told me. “Lift up your feet,” He told me that gem two years ago. Six months ago He told me to “put on your remembering hat.” Compared to that one hope is here is for sure doable.

You have no idea what two hours in the prayer room at IHOP KC can do to you. There are just these transcendent moments that people will never believe when I tell them. Not everyone is convinced that there is something special here. Those people have never been here. There is something pure in endless worship 24/7 forever. Try to replicate that. Try to imagine that? Try for one minute to picture Revelation 4 playing out for real over and over. Those who don’t believe in mountain top experiences have never been to the top of the mountain. It has become clear that we have lost vision of this truth. In our jaded nature we chide those with a mountain top moment. We dismiss an emotional response as if God did not create it. We seek to eliminate it from our experience because somehow real Christ followers are steady and need not go to the mountain to hear from God. In Exodus God specifically instructs Moses to go to the mountaintop to meet with Him and see His glory. “Be ready by the morning and come up in the morning to Mount Sinai, and present yourself there to me on the top of the mountain.” (Exodus 34:2) Moses experiences the fullness of the presence of God and “quickly bowed his head toward the earth and worshipped.” (8) Moses is forever changed in that instant. When he comes down from the mountain we are told that his face shone. He literally had a different countenance. The people knew he had encountered the Holy God and they were in fear from the reality of the depth of this change. 

In Matthew Jesus takes Peter, James and John where? To the mountain where He literally transfigures and reveals His holiness. We are told "His face shone like the sun." And then God speaks and tells them that this is His Son. Then they all head back down and Jesus tells them, "tell no one of the vision until the Son of Man is raised from the dead." And so we see that they go to the mountaintop to meet with God and this moment is set to propel them into ministry after Jesus has been resurrected. You don’t leave real moments to return to a pretend life steeped in sin and hopelessness. These for real moments stay with you, they change you. They set your course. They are necessary. There is no turning back.

We don’t need to shy away from these things. We need to be lost in his presence. Ours is not the call to test the truth of an encounter by ensuring that there are no more mountaintop encounters. We must climb again. We must leave the safety of steadiness and we must head to the mountaintop. We need to risk it all for this experience that we may look like something of the Holiness of God. There will be those who are faking. It is not for us to decide. It is for us to lead them there time and time again so that one day they will drop to their knees and worship the mighty God of Israel and in that moment be forever changed and forever secure in His presence. Once there we will never leave.  We will bring that change down from the mountain with us. This has to be our call. We must have more of Him. We must hunger for more of Him. We have to stop running about and we need to have a fresh anointing of His infinite power. We have no idea. I have no idea. I do know that His presence is our only hope. Hope is here. This is truth.

yes

There is a movement afoot. There is a disquieting in the church and God is moving on the earth. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like He’s been hanging out doing a whole lot of nothing and His slumber has been stirred. He has always been moving, He is God after all and He has been working out His perfect plan since He made the universe. But this is a tiny release of His tangible presence.

The Father is calling us back to Him as individuals. He is reminding us that He called Peter, that He called Matthew, that He called John. The list goes on but each of them in the moment said yes and then went. Each of them was required to give a yes to the sovereign God. There was no group effort or mob mentality. It is critical that we begin to separate the community activity from the heart of the Father and the call to give him a yes or a no.

For too long we have created the perfect fishing environment. We keep stressing the fishing with nets and it is good except for that they all fished with nets before they knew Jesus. Fishing with nets was not something that Jesus specifically taught them. What Jesus taught them was where to put their nets and what to do when the nets came back full and what to do when they came back empty.

We spend so much time teaching the things of man. We spend so much time teaching how to cast out nets. Our intentions are good but our intentions always diminish the power of the Christ and embellish our own strength. Modern Christianity looks like the world looks. We gather on a Sunday for a big meeting where we sing old songs written by men to explain Jesus to us. We give out a bunch of relevant information about other gatherings and goings on where we can gather in groups and talk about how hard it is to follow Jesus and then someone stands up and teaches more about Jesus. When it is all over we have people who will pray for our lack. Wash rinse repeat.What we end up with is small group counseling with a Messiah added on for good measure.

These are our ways. We create a program to deliver the content. We really believe that somehow Jesus was culturally relevant. The only problem I have with these ideas is the Word of God. Jesus didn’t really have a community program or a retreat. He found some people and specifically picked them to follow Him around so that they could learn about His Kingdom. He talked to large groups of people and small groups. Sometimes He dealt with people one on one. He continued to teach the disciples secret things He did not tell the masses. He showed them how to pray, He led them into desolate places and then He fed them. He showed them His glory and His power and reminded them that He and God are the same. He gave them a plan and sent them out to teach others what they had been taught. Not one of them started a church, they all came back and continued to follow Him around. He told them that they must eat His flesh and drink His blood. And then most of the people stopped following. So what is that all about?

It is about the truth. He called them to a die to yourself and follow me relationship. He called them to a one on one relationship where He becomes everything and everything else becomes pointless. He taught them that He is the way. And because they had revelation of this truth a community was born. Individuals desperately seeking after the Father will produce a mass effect. They will multiply. We need to cry out for this truth. Teach us to pray, teach us to follow Him for real. Teach each one of us to cry out to Him from our place of brokenness. Teach us that there is no good thing apart from Him. It is time to end the programs and it is time to spend hours in front of Him in His throne room. It is time to stop throwing the nets in the wrong location. We want an outpouring of the Spirit and this will only come when each and every individual calls out to the Father. There is no community on that day we see Him face to face. This is not a group test. This is an individual relationship. This following Jesus is not a team sport. Each one of us must eat the flesh and drink the blood on our own. Each one of us independent of all the others must say yes to Christ alone. He will have His way. And when He has His way . . . well the church will look quite a bit different. Don’t you think?

What makes the elders fall down?

In Revelation 4 and 5 we are given the exact goings on of the throne room. This is the seat of glory. This is where all the action is in heaven. Our God and His Son sit on some thrones and this is what they do for what appears to be forever. This scene is only interrupted when Jesus comes back to earth, tosses Satan into a pit, kills His enemies, and recreates our bodies along with the heavens and the earth. So it's pretty safe to say that this whole throne room is pretty important as it seems this scene has been playing out since Jesus jumped on the cloud and disappeared into the sky while the crowd watched in what had to be the craziest thing they had ever seen, and I think we can agree they had seen quite a lot. So i'm pretty sure we are to take something significant from the throne room activity since it is the exclusive current activity of our Lord. We are told in Romans 8:34 "Christ Jesus is the one who died - more than that, who was raised - who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us." So the picture: Jesus dies, is raised up, walks the earth for a bit, gets on a cloud, arrives in heaven, sits down in His chair and begins to talk to the Father on our behalf and He does this day and night, 24/7. He is our model right? This is not about day and night prayer but this is about what happens while Jesus talks to God for eternity.

 It seems like there is this large circle gathered about the throne. Front row seems to be these living creatures that God made to have eyes so they can see Him from every angle. Also, in the front seem to be some elders who cry "worthy" over and over.  And then there seems to be a sea behind them. And then there are thousands and thousands of angels singing to Him at all times. This is the picture of Heaven and then in one moment it will stop and Jesus will stand up, grab some scrolls, and head back to earth with some serious changes to be made. But in this forever snap shot He sits there and just tells the Father about us over and over. But here is what I want to know? Why do the elders fall down?

This is not out of fear. That is a ridiculous assumption. If they were deeply afraid in the presence they could just get up and leave or they could just stay down. This is an eternal process. This moment is wash - rinse - repeat. This moment happens over and over again. They stand up, the angels sing, the creatures cry holy, the elders cry worthy and down they go. This is the promise of God. This is the revelation of who He is. He shows His glory and they are filled with such joy, such fullness that they fall down and cry worthy. Their worship, their praise is not a one way activity. In fact they worship from the overflow of the Father. They worship from the outpouring of Him. Their praise and their worship come from Him not from within them. So why is it that we seem to be missing this. Why is it that we stand before the Father and praise Him as if we are giving Him "all our worship?" It's shocking when you weigh it out. We are giving Him what He has put in us. We should experience great joy. This is how He has always worked. His majesty, His very cool creation, His outpouring of Joy is all for us. He does not need the show, we do. He designed it this way. He gives us joy so that we experience His  presence. So while it may be true that we worship and praise Him it is also more true that this whole activity plays out as His gift to us not our gift to Him. This is the heart of worship; this is the truth of who He is. He is worthy and He is holy and we need to remember that our worship comes from Him.It is time that we waited for Him to fill us with His joy and then we will see what really happens. This is the truth. He is a God that  comes first in all things. He does not pour out from the overflow of our praise. He fills us up with the joy of His spirit and we in turn sing a new song. Worship is not supposed to be a challenge. It is a fountain of joy. It is what happens after we have been sitting in His presence not before. We should give it a try sometime.

called by a new name

Names are significant. We see time and again in the word of God that names are so important that the unchanging God does change the names of those he has made. He gives new names. He does this for many reasons but there seems to be a recreating of creation that is at the heart of the new name. In Isaiah 62 God renames Zion to Hephzibah. This name change is the result of God changing the way He feels about Zion and He now relates to the people in a new way and so they need a new name. The act of naming is one that God gives to us in Genesis. He actually allows Adam to get all crazy and start naming stuff. God literally brings all the stuff He made and He shows the stuff to Adam and lets Adam name the stuff. Again, I say who is this God?
So I am rambling and all this is to set up the whole point which is naming stuff is pretty serious. For me naming stuff is so critical that I sit in fear before the Lord whenever I undertake the activity. And so the series of names that I went through before naming Noah Grace was daunting. She is His after all, and not just in a flippant "God owns all things" kind of way but in the for real she is His and I need to hear Him and get this right so He won't need to change her name kind of way. I want to make sure I name His girl the name He wants to call her. 
So as I sat in prayer the night before she was born I was calling out to the Father in just the desperate I need to know the name kind of way, I sat with the Word and flipped through page after page and name after name.
He spoke to me so clearly on Tuesday night. There had been several prophetic words that God was changing her name and so I wanted to hear the new name. There was the dream that she would be named Grace and that weighed heavy on my heart. I prayed long about whether or not that was supposed to be the first name. Then there was a word that spoke of my confusion on the name and that perhaps there was a new name to come forth. And so this one stirred me. So should she be named Maranatha, I asked. That went nowhere and I love the meaning of the name, but name meanings have not been important since I was saved, only before. Then I was asking if Hephzibah was the name. Again the meaning moves me but what a crazy name.
And so I was sitting on Noah but that was her name all along so I was troubled because there was nothing new happening with the name So I began to read everything I had read when I chose the name seven months ago.
Noah means rest. Not really all that impressive. But Noah, wow, what a man of faith. He did exactly what God asked. He did not add or take away. He just did exactly as God asked. God told him to build and Ark so he did. Think about it. God told him it would rain. We always waltz right on past that. God had not even created rain at that point. There was no such thing and yet Noah never even asked for an explanation. Ah such a follower, such a disciple. Add to that the truth that everyone on earth was so fouled that God was hitting the reset button and the only one found worthy was Noah. God looked at Noah and declared him the only righteous man on earth. That is something. This is God we are talking about. God does not lower His standards and function in a culture of relativism. That is what man does. God says this is righteousness, end of story. Be it or be dead with the rest of this world.
But where does this new name come in because all this I already knew when I named her in the summer. And then I read 2nd Peter  2:5, "if he did not spare the ancient world, but preserved Noah, a herald of righteousness, with seven others, when he brought a flood upon the world of the ungodly". It goes on and makes a cool sentence about the standards of the Father but what matters here is that Peter calls Noah the "herald of righteousness." Now that is something I did not know. The name is new. Noah is the herald of righteousness, the one who cries out, the one who continues to teach the truth of the Father without compromise.(so much like JTB. And we all know where I am on that topic) He teaches righteousness. And so Noah Grace it is. Because there is no compromise in the message. His grace is sufficient. It is sufficient enough to see us walk out His righteousness. In Noah there was no compromise. This is the one man who God chose to start again with after He killed the rest of creation. We would do well to understand this. We would do well to know what Noah knew.

Jesus + Nothing

I am not in a storm. But I am in a season of costly discipleship. The Father is stripping me. He is making me His again. It does not look what we think it will look like. I am unafraid but I am in a place that begins to make my reflection look strange. I am in a place where I must ask is it in the Word. I am in a place where I must ask does it look like what He looks like?
I am done being relative and I am finished with peace and safety. I am putting on my remembering hat. I am adding nothing to and taking nothing away. I am reminded of Michael Eaton and His constant declaration of "Jesus + nothing." I want that and that can only be had in Him. There is a reason why David always cried out for the Father to be His refuge. We only need refuge when we are running or hiding or returning or abiding? We don't need refuge when we are under the illusion that all is well. See I've made a discovery? Nothing is well apart from Him. He is our strong tower, He is our refuge. We sing it all the while crying peace and safety. In Psalm 71 it says, "Be my strong refuge to which I may resort continually; You have given the commandment to save me, for You are my rock and my fortress." I have had peace and safety and it is an illusion. It is the strong delusion sent by the enemy. It tricks us into a Christianity that looks like the world looks. It is a Christianity that is filled with the glorification of me and not Him. He is reminding me that I do not want that. He is reminding me that I signed up to glorify Him. I am told that this revelation is going to cost me everything; And that when this season is done there will be very few standing with me, arms raised, declaring, "Jesus + Nothing"... Maybe, no one, I'm told. They say I'm going to lose everything but Him. We will see.

More Levite nonsense

I try to mind my own business. I really do hope to someday find something fluffy and nice that God will speak to me. It would be nice for everyone involved, myself included. If only I could just teach something else, talk about some other trait. If I could lay off all this set apartness and this righteousness and this He's coming again stuff.
And so who knows why God thought it would be a super cool idea for me to read Joshua again. In fact I exasperated, "not Joshua again." something like that. But today I had to hit chapter thirteen and there begins a bunch of crazy talk about which tribe gets what land. There is all this mumbo jumbo about where who will live and how that land is not super cool or how there are too many hills or not enough hills. Or too many trees or not enough trees. It goes on and on. And then there it is in 13:14 "Only the tribe of Levi he had given no inheritance; the sacrifices of the Lord God of Israel made by fire are their inheritances." I'm thinking pretty cool. Sacrifices by fire and all. I mean they get the sacrifices of the Lord made by fire. That is pretty legit. In verse 33 we get a repeat, "To the tribe of Levi Moses had given no inheritance; the Lord God of Israel was their inheritance." In chapter 18 we are told, "But the Levites have no part among you, for the priesthood of the Lord is their inheritance."
So here I am and I am blown away by this truth. The Levites inherit the Lord and everyone else is convinced that the better deal was in the land. The other tribes are stoked to get the land even though for the most part the land sucks. It's got all these little flaws. Oh how I want to cry out " I know all about that land thing." Cuz I do. I've got land, well at least I have this house in Brea. And it's pretty cool. I mean it's not the best house but it's a house. And I have what most people would agree is the craziest most perfect work schedule. I mean I am home by noon on a daily basis. My inheritance in Brea seems pretty good, all things considered.
But I am unsettled. This does not feel like my inheritance. This feels like something else. This feels like maybe I got the answer wrong, like maybe I took all the wrong classes in college which is funny because I took all the classes. Because the truth is everyone thinks the Levites were robbed but they inherited the Lord God of Israel. They serve and rely on Him alone. And they have no home and yet they will want for nothing because they are claimed by the most high God. See, that right there is what all of this is about. We spend so much time asking and seeking for our inheritance of good health, financial security, and peace and safety. Oh the list goes on. But the only inheritance we really need is the Lord. He is our inheritance because of the work of the cross. For me it is settled. We are Levites from the day we say yes. The only problem is that we really like the land and all that other cool stuff. Don't get me wrong the Land is cool. But I think I might want to trade it all away for all of Him. Like I need a readjustment of perspective. Oh those Levites. Truth be told most of them probably felt pretty ripped off with the whole no land deal. This God. He is my beloved and I am His. He is fearfully wonderful and I am just afraid. I want more. At least I'm pretty sure I want more.